Sunday, 20 July 2008


I've got a lot going on at the moment (understandably), but I just remembered that I meant to blog this a while ago.

The other weekend we went to see a friend of a friend's band play, but somehow we got there WAY too early. Not even too early to not look like eager beavers and be fashionably late, but too early for the place to even be open. So in my 'oh-yeah-I've-always-wanted-to-go-there-let's-do-it' excitement, I talked the boys into going this super-chic wine bar, based on an old chemist's shop.

The second we walked in the door we were pounced on by a waiter who gave us menus and sat us down on some lovely frenchy lounges in a quiet corner (amongst the 30-somethings sipping their Penfolds or whatever, and eating cheese platters). We were obviously a little out of place, but we couldn't exactly just get up and leave so we decided to have a drink. We would play it cool, cool as cucumbers.

I really like sweet white wines (red - uh, no thankyou), but I couldn't think of the name of the type that I usually like. So I looked down the list to the 'sweet and fortifieds' section, and picked out what I thought was the one I liked. I even asked the waiter 'is this a white?' and he looked at me a little strangely, but said yes.

So I ordered the rather expensive drop, and he brought me out this horrible looking red wine. I made sure my face didn't fall until after he had turned his back, and instantly realised what I had done.

I hadn't ordered a light and fruity MOSCATO, but a deep, warm, disgusting MUSCAT, that tasted like really strong, foul-smelling honey. The waiter thought I had asked 'is this wine?' not 'is this white?'. I may not know my wines, but i'm not that retarded. I do understand what the heading 'wine list' means.

So I held my breath, screwed up my face and drank the revolting stuff. I think I only came close to flat-out spitting it out once or twice. I pray to god that the waiter didn't catch my awful facial expressions as I braved through the glass.

Safe to say I will not be showing my face in there for the next 20 years.

That will be the end of my attempted wine-conisseuring for a good while, methinks.

10 days to go.


dave said...

was that at the apoth..?

i think the deal with those places is that you can't let them smell your fear. or insecurity.

you need to act like a wine snob. because the waiters are used to being treated like shit by pompous pricks.

as soon as they smell blood they will pounce.

i dont know. actually.

muscat though. my dad drinks that. its intense but it will grow on you i think. red wines are amazing.


steph. said...

correct david, it was. have you been in there?

maybe when I'm 50 I'll be knocking back some port or something and laughing about my muscat/moscato faux pas.

but for now wine and i are 'seeing other people'.

reub said...

i have a large dong. i hope your trips going well!